in college, i tended to take girlfriends for walks
along the railroad tracks, and through the city late at night.
i never took cali, though.
nor, it occurs to me now, phanta.
i have the perspective born of distance
to realize that the reason i never took phanta on adventures
was that i was too busy being taken on adventures by her.
and then i realize that it is the same with cali.
every day since we first met
i have followed her on adventures
the sort of which i would never have dreamt.
it is better this way, i think.
her adventures do not have the same undercurrent of death-wishery,
which always gave me pause when contemplating my own.
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